My fiancé and I are saving sex until after marriage. We believe that this is moral and Christian to do so. We are having problems however, deciding what we can do before marriage. Is it wrong for us to have oral sex with each other? We are three months away from our wedding. We have had oral sex in the past many times, but now are feeling a sense of guilt.
Answer
I know of nothing in the Bible that speaks directly to the question of whether oral sex is sex. It may be included in the definition of fornication, but that is not clear.
Looking at it from other angles, though, one can say it is a sex act, the same as those reserved for marriage. Just calling it "oral sex" gives it the same status. If one were to go to a prostitute just for that, and get caught where prostitution is illegal, do you think the court would buy the argument that it wasn't prostitution because it was just oral sex? Do you think the prostitute would let you get by without paying because "it wasn't really sex?" In the eyes of the law and those who regularly practice it, it is sex. The Bible doesn't have to clearly spell it out, when most thinking persons who didn't want to justify themselves consider it part of fornication.